~Dave Van Ronk
Honesty is the single most important quality in a friendship. Of all characteristics, I can imagine none more important to the development of trust and respect between individuals. If you can not trust someone, it makes it very difficult to love them.
There is nothing that can make me loose interest in a friendship or a potential sweetheart more quickly than finding that they are not being honest with me. Whether it is because they are trying to spare my feelings or because they are being manipulative, it doesn't matter. Dishonesty is dishonesty. I'm a big girl and I can take it.
More than that, nothing hurts me more than a lie. Especially an unnecessary one, and they are all unnecessary as far as I'm concerned. Just lay it out there for me, tell me the truth. Anything less and you are insulting my intelligence.
For this reason I appreciate people who are direct, who don't play games and who are willing to explore their feelings openly. A rare breed I suppose.
Its hard to develop a rule on how to deal with this, it it one strike and you're out, three strikes and you're out or is it the degree of hurt that is caused? Personally, I think its the degree of hurt but I'm leaning toward a one strike rule. I don't trust easily and once I do, if that trust is broken, it will take a long while to rebuild it. Obviously, after someone breaks my trust with lies actions will speak louder than words.
But I don't hold my breath waiting. I move on and focus on other areas of my life. Preferring to not dwell on the hurt if possible. Maybe write a poem or two, a blog entry, etc. and I'm done.
I've had enough lies in my life. My family is rife with manipulators and I just haven't the patience for that type. There is no reason to put my energy into that when there are so many good, healthy things in my life to put my energy into.